10 Reasons why Barry Bonds will be a Tampa Bay Ray!Yes, the
Tampa Bay Devil Rays finished 66-96 (.407) during the 2007
MLB season, the worst team in the league (again), and an even 30 games behind the first place Boston Red Sox. But, so what? Do you think that Barry Bonds has never welcomed a challenge before in his life? Come on.
When
Sosa and McGuire were launching home runs left and right, did Barry just say to himself "that's life, so be it"??? No he got busy and worked on solving the problem!
Hence, just ONE of the many reasons why Barry Bonds will be a Tampa Bay Devil Ray sooner than you can say "
Grapefruit Baseball." Get ready Tampa Bay!
Here's why Barry will be a Ray:
10. Barry Bonds is a coastal guy; loves the water because it is good for his health (also; see #1)
9. Tampa Bay has openings in all positions, especially left field
8. Barry Bonds could play DH and LF and nobody will care one way or another (he'll bat twice, and nobody will care; once a cheater....)
7. Tampa Bay is not really a hockey or football town, it REALLY loves its BASEBALL!!! Honest!
6. ROI, return on investment: Barry Bonds will pay for himself in a week or 2
5. The scientologists in Clearwater can help him get clean and will provide him with a new view of reality
4. Bobby Bonds once mumbled to young Barry about all the classy bars and escorts there
3. Oakland doesn't want him and can't afford him
2. The Los Angeles Dodgers don't want him and can afford him
1. Tampa Bay is on the water and Barry Bonds may need a quick escape route if the heat is on!
Look,
Andy Pettitte recently apologized to the New York Yankees, Houston Astros and his fans for the "embarrassment" he caused them by taking that human growth stuff. Listen, Tampa Bay fans! Barry Bonds will never, never put you through any of this nonsense. He'll never apologize for anything! He'll keep his honor and yours as well. He'll be a great Devil Ray and you'll love him for it. Get ready.